Celebrity Death Posts...and then some!

Legions of "The Secret Life of Elliot Mitty" (ish #29 of American Bystander) fans have clamored to see more of Mitty's lovingly-crafted Facebook celebrity death posts. Here's but a small selection...

First, some news-related news:

• Trump Administraton to put on some Sade and light U.S. stockpile of romantic candles to help boost nation’s birth rate.

• Trump urges nation to ignore economy altogether; presents graph of something called “Trumponomy,” which grew 78% in first 100 days.

• Sales of gavels spike as citizens prepare to run own trials with threatened closure of district courts.

Celebrity Death Posts

Always humble, Elliot Mitty (American Bystander #29) nonetheless constantly monitors for celebrity deaths and, as soon as one is announced, immediately puts all else aside to be the first of his FB friends to care deeply (i.e. post) about it. Here some of his most-liked over the years:

Paul Reubens - “Pee-wee, if you asked anyone today ‘I know you are, but what am I?’ They’d answer, ‘An angel.’ RIP Paul Reubens.” (6 likes)

Richard Lewis - “The world curbs its enthusiasm for the passing of our jester of the neurotic, Richard Lewis. He goes now to the Heaven from hell. RIP Mr. Lewis.” (14 likes)

Eddie Van Halen - “Jamie’s not the only one crying today. You’re running with the angels now, Eddie.” (sign of the horns emoji)” (31 likes)

Quincy Jones - “May you and Michael, with heavenly management by DiLeo, once again make beautiful music together. RIP Mr. Q Jones.” (2 likes)

Gene Hackman - “Since you were Hollywood’s connsumate every man, we each also have died a little today. Go now and join Chris, the Superman to your Lex. And may your Miss Teschmacher, Val, join you soon. RIP Eugene Hackman.” (1 like)

Val Kilmer - “If anyone asks, ‘Are you Val Kilmer?’ you’ll answer, ‘I hope so. I’m wearing his wings,’ for this day you’ve become an angel. Enjoy being eternally difficult on the Heavenly Set. RIP, Iceman.” (3 likes, 2 of them laugh emojis to Mitty’s consternation)

Meryl Streep (in Mitty’s “deathpostideas” Google Doc for when she does pass) - “Death becomes her. But so did life. R.I.P. Dame Streep.”